From the Crotch



Last night we had folks trying to break in to the empty duplex next to me. I chased them away as they tried to tell me the owner wanted them to get them ready to rent. Since I know the owner I knew it was bullshit.

This morning I awoke to both of my work ladders ($500) being stolen. The alley behind me had more campers. Meanwhile as crime goes up and our neighborhood gets worse we have folks on the city council who seem to not want to support our police officers.

So my advice to all of you is to be sure you have the ability to protect yourself. Please do not be that person who says, “if I only would have had a way to fight back.” It is dangerous, as they are not afraid to come onto your property and steal. We have good cops here. If they were allowed to do their jobs they would not be quitting.

Burglaries, mail theft, stolen property, tires slashed. We even had video evidence and nothing happened. Criminals that cause destruction and steal from us..walk around unpunished. Several of my neighbors have run into the guy who slashed all the tires... he was never even arrested.

The camps are popping up all over. With Fred Meyer gone all those junkies and thieves have to find somewhere else to make up for not having 1.5 million in merchandise in their coffers.

I picked up 62 needles in the alley. A guy was urinating right across from the Catholic School. not even trying to hide what he was doing.

More and more folks wandering around,.. by the way I have only ran into one out of the dozen or so I talked to that are from Portland. One guy at Lents Park told me some lady feeding them told them to make sure they say they are from here.

The slow spiral of the new toilet bowl we used to call Portland.

Very sad!


So last night I think was the official reopening of THE CROTCH, While I was under the impression that this one junkie was an early bird....I was wrong. I posted the picture of the girl who leaned up against a garage door all night high about 8:30.

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At about 9;30 am a guy in shorts and a camo shirt and obviously a street person was walking down the street looking into yards. I asked him what he was doing and he asked me for a cigarette. I told him I did not have one and he said he was just walking around. I told him there has been a lot of vandalism and theft in the area and that most folks had cams. 

He walked away and went behind the Shell into the alley.

A few minutes later I see a guy cutting through my neighbors duplex and into the alley. I walk back there and he is kneeling against the garage with a needle in his arm. He gets up real quick and starts down the alley toward Hing Mings. As I follow him there are three more people in the alley. One guy is leaning against the wall taking a crap, another is going through a pile of trash. The third is hanging over my 6 ft fence looking in my yard. I yell, Get the hell out of the alley. They inform me that they are cleaning it up. I tell them we do not want you to clean it up. I then tell the guy he was lucky my dog was not out there when he stuck his head over the fence. He informed me he would have killed it. I told him that would have been the last act of his pathetic life.

I see they have carts at the end of the alley filled with crap in Hing Ming parking lot. I go into the store and tell Sam the owner that he needs to clear his property as they are coming into the alley.

So Sam is now out there with me and my son and there are now 4 of them. After a little back and forth they start getting their stuff. All this time they are yelling that they are going to fuck up my house..and that they have a right to be there. 

One even told us to call the cops, cause they can't do anything. Sadly he is right…not because they do not want to...but they have no choice.

So here we go ... 6 of them all before noon. 

On my way home about 2:30 I look down the alley as I am driving by and a guy is just pulling up his pants from going to the bathroom against the building. That makes 7 and we still have tonight.

This has got to stop. We should not have to endure another Spring/Summer full of this again.

From the Crotch


So a little after 11 I heard some noise outside. I looked out my window and saw something moving around by the trash cans.  I went outside expecting to find some tweak or loon foraging through my garbage.

As I approached the cans I heard a voice say , Oh it's you Bob. I stepped back as I could not see anyone there. Then suddenly from behind the trash can came a raccoon.

I thought immediately that I was finally having a flashback from all the acid I took back in the 70's. Just then the raccoon jumped up on the can and started rummaging through it.

He said, It's getting bad out here Bob. I used to let the wife and kids come along but no more. It can be dangerous now as we have competition out here now....

I go by myself now. The wife stepped on a needle last week in the alley, and my 2 little ones were playing as we rummaged and when we got home they were covered with human crap. 
The alley is filthy and the scent from them burns my nose.
He then asked…Do those folks have rabies? I said, No…but you’re close.

He said, I used to get an occasional scat..or someone would throw something to scare me away ..but it is different now. One of those crazy people chased me with a machete the other night. My cousin who lives down by Johnson Creek says those loons camped over there are up all night. Says when he goes down to the creek for a drink.. the ground smells like human urine. He said they stay up all night arguing and talking to themselves

I said, Yea it is getting pretty bad. And the rats he said, I never seen so many before and I have been around here for 10 years. We have had to move our nest a few times being overrun by them under houses.

He climbed up a tree to get to the next trash can .. looked in it and then jumped down. He looked up at me and said , Well you have a good night. I said , You too.. see you again sometime... He turned and looked at me and said, I don't think so,,, I am getting the hell out of here...way too dangerous for my family.

From the Crotch


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Well I woke up this morning....first thing I see while walking my dog is a guy in my driveway. I ask him what he is doing and he replies. Just going through my stuff homeboy. I notice my neighbor down the street is also eyeballing him. I told him I was not his homeboy and that he needed to get off my property. He kept his back toward me and was fiddling with something. I walked over and sure enough he had a hanger all bent up. The kind you use to unlock cars.... on a trash can with his pack was a piece of round wood like a dowel with a credit card stuck in the end of it. As I approached him he fumbled the stuff back into his pack. This time I told him to get the fuck out of here. He wandered away mumbling. My neighbor and I watched him go into the alley by the Shell station where I am sure he disposed of his burglar tools. I was on my way to an appointment and I am sicker then a dog...I did not even bother to report it.
White male - blue sweat pants - blue jacket with grey sleeves. About 30 had a van dyke and shoulder length hair. Carrying a blue back pack.

THE CROTCH! - Welcome to the Jungle

Now perhaps you can see why I call it 'The Crotch' 

Remember... about 20% of the crime in this area gets reported. If I called a cop every time I saw something going down over here they would have to open a sub-station.

By the way the police are doing all they can to investigate these shootings. There were four officer here yesterday following up. There was a little confusion.. but they are on it. 

Next time you read about a cop shooting some idiot with a gun, remember these are the same folks that fired a round into a house not caring about the consequences.

Five Closest Crimes That Occurred Around Your Address in the Past Two Weeks

A Shooting 5600 BLOCK OF SE 83RD AVE 3 days ago - 01/04/19 09:51 PM

B Assault 5600 BLOCK OF SE 85TH AVE 4 days ago - 01/03/19 06:29 AM

C Shooting 5600 BLOCK OF SE 84TH AVE 6 days ago = 01/01/19 02:55 AM

D Theft 5500 BLOCK OF SE 82ND AVE 7 days ago - 12/31/18 04:29 AM

E Shooting 5600 BLOCK OF SE 83RD AVE 12 days ago - 12/25/18 05:25 PM

THE CROTCH! - 83rd and Foster

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More bullets in the alley. Three or more guys walking through …very loud. Could not make out who they were. One was a black male wearing a hoodie, he was the one who fired the shot. Looks like they ran towards Ramona. Right in back of my house again. The kids next to me are scared shitless.. We have the solution and will be putting that in place within the next 2 weeks. Someone is going to get hurt or killed by these idiots. Cops were lit up and had sirens on so they may have found them, Will update.

THE CROTCH - the corner of Bullet Blvd & Bullshit Place.

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You may not like my description.... But a picture is worth a thousand words.

Fu#k all you advocates. That bullshit narrative you folks push has worn thin in our hood. This poor misunderstood guy who is on the streets because the rent is too high. (What a joke) Here we have a guy who walks the neighborhood taking trash bags and bringing them into the alley to dump them and go through them. We clean this alley up about once a month and they manage to fill it with couches, chairs, mattresses and tons of tweaker crap and of course needles and those beautiful orange caps which seem to be abundant everywhere.

They are destructive, they care about nothing.

The only reason it will be picked up is because I am there to make sure he does.

Yes right here in Lents..on the corner of Bullet Blvd and Bullshit Place.


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My neighbors next door just came over and informed me that they had a bullet hole that went through the wall in the back of their house into their living room ..through the TV and into the wall that adjoins my house. I have been complaining both on this page and in emails to law enforcement about this for over a year. I was told this morning by somebody the names of the guys that were back there last night….same ones involved in the other cases of shots fired.

We found a place on the second story where 2 more rounds hit but did not go into the house. Just a minute ago some of the other neighbors found a shell casing which they immediately covered. Police have been called.

Five or six feet that would have been in my sons bedroom window. This shit needs to stop. I watched this happen where I grew up over 40 years ago, I watched a decent neighborhood turn into a shooting gallery.

Between the street folks, the criminals and the drug addicts it is becoming more dangerous for residents to even be safe in their homes. Happy New Year from Lents!


Emmie Sperandeo

Discovers bullet hole in side of house New Years Day!


PORTLAND, OR (KPTV) - A woman says several shots were fired and at least one bullet flew into her townhome in Portland’s Lents neighborhood.

The woman says she’s lived at the home on Southeast 83rd Avenue for four months and has heard gunshots several times. Neighbors agree gunfire in the area is common, but say it’s the first time a bullet has actually gone into a home, that they know of.

Emmie Sperandeo says she woke up New Year’s Day to find a bullet had flown through her townhouse and become lodged in the wall that separates her unit from her neighbors’.

Not only did it pass through the exterior wall of the apartment she shares with two other roommates, she says it also went clear through their television set.

Sperandeo thinks it may have happened while they were all out Monday night celebrating New Year’s Eve. She says when they got home at 2 a.m., they went straight to bed without noticing anything unusual.

“I woke up this morning and I’ve never been more confused when I was like, ‘oh, there’s bullet holes in our living room,” Emmie Sperandeo said. “At first, I thought someone had tried to break in or was, like, in the house.”

Sperandeo says if the bullet had traveled any lower, it could’ve hit her dog, Bailey, who sleeps nearby.

A Portland police official says officers also found evidence of gunfire outside the townhouse.

Sperandeo says detectives were investigating the case Tuesday in the morning and afternoon; she says they found five shell casings not far from the home.

Portland police say no one has been arrested in connection to the case. Officers could not immediately offer any additional information.

Copyright 2019 KPTV-KPDX Broadcasting Corporation. All rights reserved.



Yes we rang in the New Year with at least three incidents of shitbags firing guns in our alley. At least a half dozen times I had to yell out my back window to get the F#$K out of the alley.

4:00 AM…Tweaker mad max vehicle pulls up 2 houses down from me and parks. You know the one... the plastic windows, one door tied shut...4 different tires and tags are so old they were probably taken off a covered wagon on the Oregon Trail.

I ask them “what are you doing here?” They said “we broke down.” I then asked “how come all you assholes break down on 83rd and Foster?” They said “someone was coming to help them.”

7:00 AM…. I go to get a coffee and they are still there. I ask the guy if there is something I can do to help them get moved. 

I can smell the funk from the inside of the car..sitting in mine…I can see the car is filled with food wrappers and trash. As he gets up crap is spilling all over the street. He again tells me they will be gone soon.

9:30 AM…Went to the store and while in the parking lot of the Shell station I start talking to Snoop. He was telling me that Jennifer who was known around here as The Angry Hooker died the day after Christmas from complications from AIDS. Jennifer was a fixture in the hood for the last decade at least. I suddenly look around and now there are at least 6 street folks all standing around. I was also given information that there is a house a certain gang is using and that they have taken Asia there on several occasions and assaulted her. Sad what is happening to that young girl.

10:00 am….Neighbors call me and tell me that the folks broke down on the corner are now having some guy drop off a small travel trailer that is already tagged. So..out comes the neighbors.. Same dedicated neighbors that stay involved keeping this block safe...or at least making an attempt.

We confront the guy with the trailer. I tell him.. You are not dropping that here. The couple in the car start to argue. The trailer is already tagged so I know what they are up to. There was some back and forth. They then tried to say they had to disconnect the trailer to jump the car…..I looked at the guy and asked him how stupid do you think I am? Your battery is in the front. He just stared at me. They talked among themselves and the tweaker lady kept buzzing around and every time she got in and out of the car more trash would spill into the street.

I just kept saying get it out of here. He hooked up the trailer and left.

Next another truck pulls up that is converted into a house. He gets out and talks to them, they goof around with the car and then all leave.

10 folks by 10:00 much for the shelter bullshit they serve us.

One thing I can tell you is that this winter so far there are many times the number of folks hanging around then last year.


From the Crotch - December 2, 2018


We all thought things would slow down.after all winter is upon us….we were mistaken!

The RV that was parked here that was drawing a lot of night activity is finally gone. It was tagged and towed. They left the plastic pumpkin they were shitting in as well as a couple of jugs of urine....

The Shell station some evenings has up to a half dozen street folks hanging out.

Most of you know the homeless guy Marty.. he left the area. He moved to different digs because he said it was too dangerous around here..... ?!?!

Hing Mings remains the same. Like flies to shit.. they seem to like to gather there. Shell, Hings and McDopers seem to where they like to graze,

The alley problems still remain. There was a group of 5 smoking crank yesterday. I told them I would call the police and they told me go ahead, its not illegal?????? Then other neighbors came out and they reluctantly left. In all, 13 were scooted out of there last week. 
Two of these folks attempted to tell me they had the right to camp in the alley. That we had no right bothering them????

My neighbor across the street has had his vehicle messed with 2 nights in a row. The night before last they attempted to pry open a back window and used something like an ice pick to break pieces of it. They returned last night and resumed work on it by breaking a small hole in the window.

Friday night my son coming home from a friends house had 3 Mexican guys pull a gun on him. They drove up on him as he was walking past the market on 85th and Woodstock. While pointing a gun at him they asked him if he took gas from Andy’s car? My son told him he knows no one named Andy and he has money so he can buy his own gas. They mumbled something and drove away. They were lucky... had they picked my other son and pulled a gun on him, their night would have ended much differently.

How were things on your block this week Ted ?

I understand what you’re going through…really I do!

I understand what you’re going through…really I do!