THE CROTCH! - 83rd and Foster

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More bullets in the alley. Three or more guys walking through …very loud. Could not make out who they were. One was a black male wearing a hoodie, he was the one who fired the shot. Looks like they ran towards Ramona. Right in back of my house again. The kids next to me are scared shitless.. We have the solution and will be putting that in place within the next 2 weeks. Someone is going to get hurt or killed by these idiots. Cops were lit up and had sirens on so they may have found them, Will update.

THE CROTCH - the corner of Bullet Blvd & Bullshit Place.

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You may not like my description.... But a picture is worth a thousand words.

Fu#k all you advocates. That bullshit narrative you folks push has worn thin in our hood. This poor misunderstood guy who is on the streets because the rent is too high. (What a joke) Here we have a guy who walks the neighborhood taking trash bags and bringing them into the alley to dump them and go through them. We clean this alley up about once a month and they manage to fill it with couches, chairs, mattresses and tons of tweaker crap and of course needles and those beautiful orange caps which seem to be abundant everywhere.

They are destructive, they care about nothing.

The only reason it will be picked up is because I am there to make sure he does.

Yes right here in Lents..on the corner of Bullet Blvd and Bullshit Place.


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My neighbors next door just came over and informed me that they had a bullet hole that went through the wall in the back of their house into their living room ..through the TV and into the wall that adjoins my house. I have been complaining both on this page and in emails to law enforcement about this for over a year. I was told this morning by somebody the names of the guys that were back there last night….same ones involved in the other cases of shots fired.

We found a place on the second story where 2 more rounds hit but did not go into the house. Just a minute ago some of the other neighbors found a shell casing which they immediately covered. Police have been called.

Five or six feet that would have been in my sons bedroom window. This shit needs to stop. I watched this happen where I grew up over 40 years ago, I watched a decent neighborhood turn into a shooting gallery.

Between the street folks, the criminals and the drug addicts it is becoming more dangerous for residents to even be safe in their homes. Happy New Year from Lents!


Emmie Sperandeo

Discovers bullet hole in side of house New Years Day!


PORTLAND, OR (KPTV) - A woman says several shots were fired and at least one bullet flew into her townhome in Portland’s Lents neighborhood.

The woman says she’s lived at the home on Southeast 83rd Avenue for four months and has heard gunshots several times. Neighbors agree gunfire in the area is common, but say it’s the first time a bullet has actually gone into a home, that they know of.

Emmie Sperandeo says she woke up New Year’s Day to find a bullet had flown through her townhouse and become lodged in the wall that separates her unit from her neighbors’.

Not only did it pass through the exterior wall of the apartment she shares with two other roommates, she says it also went clear through their television set.

Sperandeo thinks it may have happened while they were all out Monday night celebrating New Year’s Eve. She says when they got home at 2 a.m., they went straight to bed without noticing anything unusual.

“I woke up this morning and I’ve never been more confused when I was like, ‘oh, there’s bullet holes in our living room,” Emmie Sperandeo said. “At first, I thought someone had tried to break in or was, like, in the house.”

Sperandeo says if the bullet had traveled any lower, it could’ve hit her dog, Bailey, who sleeps nearby.

A Portland police official says officers also found evidence of gunfire outside the townhouse.

Sperandeo says detectives were investigating the case Tuesday in the morning and afternoon; she says they found five shell casings not far from the home.

Portland police say no one has been arrested in connection to the case. Officers could not immediately offer any additional information.

Copyright 2019 KPTV-KPDX Broadcasting Corporation. All rights reserved.



Yes we rang in the New Year with at least three incidents of shitbags firing guns in our alley. At least a half dozen times I had to yell out my back window to get the F#$K out of the alley.

4:00 AM…Tweaker mad max vehicle pulls up 2 houses down from me and parks. You know the one... the plastic windows, one door tied shut...4 different tires and tags are so old they were probably taken off a covered wagon on the Oregon Trail.

I ask them “what are you doing here?” They said “we broke down.” I then asked “how come all you assholes break down on 83rd and Foster?” They said “someone was coming to help them.”

7:00 AM…. I go to get a coffee and they are still there. I ask the guy if there is something I can do to help them get moved. 

I can smell the funk from the inside of the car..sitting in mine…I can see the car is filled with food wrappers and trash. As he gets up crap is spilling all over the street. He again tells me they will be gone soon.

9:30 AM…Went to the store and while in the parking lot of the Shell station I start talking to Snoop. He was telling me that Jennifer who was known around here as The Angry Hooker died the day after Christmas from complications from AIDS. Jennifer was a fixture in the hood for the last decade at least. I suddenly look around and now there are at least 6 street folks all standing around. I was also given information that there is a house a certain gang is using and that they have taken Asia there on several occasions and assaulted her. Sad what is happening to that young girl.

10:00 am….Neighbors call me and tell me that the folks broke down on the corner are now having some guy drop off a small travel trailer that is already tagged. So..out comes the neighbors.. Same dedicated neighbors that stay involved keeping this block safe...or at least making an attempt.

We confront the guy with the trailer. I tell him.. You are not dropping that here. The couple in the car start to argue. The trailer is already tagged so I know what they are up to. There was some back and forth. They then tried to say they had to disconnect the trailer to jump the car…..I looked at the guy and asked him how stupid do you think I am? Your battery is in the front. He just stared at me. They talked among themselves and the tweaker lady kept buzzing around and every time she got in and out of the car more trash would spill into the street.

I just kept saying get it out of here. He hooked up the trailer and left.

Next another truck pulls up that is converted into a house. He gets out and talks to them, they goof around with the car and then all leave.

10 folks by 10:00 much for the shelter bullshit they serve us.

One thing I can tell you is that this winter so far there are many times the number of folks hanging around then last year.


From the Crotch - December 2, 2018


We all thought things would slow down.after all winter is upon us….we were mistaken!

The RV that was parked here that was drawing a lot of night activity is finally gone. It was tagged and towed. They left the plastic pumpkin they were shitting in as well as a couple of jugs of urine....

The Shell station some evenings has up to a half dozen street folks hanging out.

Most of you know the homeless guy Marty.. he left the area. He moved to different digs because he said it was too dangerous around here..... ?!?!

Hing Mings remains the same. Like flies to shit.. they seem to like to gather there. Shell, Hings and McDopers seem to where they like to graze,

The alley problems still remain. There was a group of 5 smoking crank yesterday. I told them I would call the police and they told me go ahead, its not illegal?????? Then other neighbors came out and they reluctantly left. In all, 13 were scooted out of there last week. 
Two of these folks attempted to tell me they had the right to camp in the alley. That we had no right bothering them????

My neighbor across the street has had his vehicle messed with 2 nights in a row. The night before last they attempted to pry open a back window and used something like an ice pick to break pieces of it. They returned last night and resumed work on it by breaking a small hole in the window.

Friday night my son coming home from a friends house had 3 Mexican guys pull a gun on him. They drove up on him as he was walking past the market on 85th and Woodstock. While pointing a gun at him they asked him if he took gas from Andy’s car? My son told him he knows no one named Andy and he has money so he can buy his own gas. They mumbled something and drove away. They were lucky... had they picked my other son and pulled a gun on him, their night would have ended much differently.

How were things on your block this week Ted ?

I understand what you’re going through…really I do!

I understand what you’re going through…really I do!

From the Crotch - LNA Flyers - November 25, 2018


So I received a call from a person that had this in their mailbox this morning. Looks like the whole block had them in their mailboxes. This is the second time folks have complained about being contacted by the LNA on an issue that has already been resolved yet they feel some need to have a meeting about it. Last month the LNLA had WestRock at the meeting and due to the hard work and push from resident Renee Goeckritz-Dutton they worked out a plan. A few days later ex board member Bader claimed gave some kudos to the LNA board for this success. We pointed out that not only did the LNA have NOTHING to do with it, one resident feels harassed. Emails, phone calls and now flyers..on an issue that has been resolved. without their input.


None of this surprises me. Nothing seems to have changed. Bogus elections. no interest by residents and more false claims about exactly what this group really does??

24 folks showed to your first election 18 to the next.... are you getting the hint?

Earth to LNA Board....This issue was resolved. There was a meeting on it a month ago with all interested parties present at the LNLA meeting..don;t you have by laws to finish that have been in the making for over a year ?

You folks on the board may want to read this. I am sure you will be getting a letter from the Postal Inspector.....

Is putting something in a mailbox against the law?

The U.S. Code for crimes and criminal procedure prohibits the placement of unstamped flyers in any mailbox. Title 18, section 1725 states that any person who knowingly deposits "mail-able matter" without postage in an established letter box shall be subject to a fine.

From the Crotch - Robin Hood Lives! - November 21, 2018

First I would like to wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving. Hope you all get to spend time with those you love.

Our Turkey Dinner operation went great. Instead of 25 we wound up giving out 32 dinners. Our apologies to Kelly Head Start Program for not having any resources left however we did notify Kelly School a month ago. We will gladly get you on next years list. Might want to check and see where the miscommunication was? Hmmm. Hope all the families we helped have a wonderful day.

Thanks to Penny, Char, David, Cliff, Julie and Kathy for delivering them!



With Mental Illness

Yesterday I got a call there was a tent in the alley. My son and I drove back there only to find a couple that had set up camp. While there a neighbor from the other side of the alley came out. We told the guy he needed to move. I gave him a bunch of numbers and addresses to ask for help,

While there I noticed that next to the tent there was a compound bow as well as several nasty hunting arrows. I asked him what he was carrying that for and he did not respond

I then asked him what his problem was? Why are you on the streets? Are you strung out? Alcohol? He told me that he has issues adjusting. I said, “then you have mental issues?” He said, “Yes.”

I then said, Well can you see why I might be concerned about a person who has mental issues behind my house with a very deadly weapon? He agreed. He was taking down his tent when we left and I told him to get rid of the bow before he gets his butt shot by a resident or officer that may think he is going to hurt someone.

A special THANKS and HAPPY THANKSGIVING to our Mayor, who I am sure will enjoy a lovely quiet dinner,,,without campers, mentally ill or compound bows.

Next : Bogus Elections / A failed grievance system.

From the Crotch - November 2, 2018


Trick or Treat

This year we saw the fewest amount of kids in our neighborhood. Go over to Laurelhurst or other areas outside Lents and there are dozens and dozens of kids out. Not here. 
There are few areas left they trick or treat at. Sad!


Talk, talk, talk about how to solve the problem with the violent and destructive protesting. Very simple solution Prosecute the criminals. We must have a whole lot of jail space as it seems there are few crimes left to get arrested for.

Example: Guy in my alley sitting on a cardboard box with a broken piece of a car mirror trying to fix in his neck. I yell out the window “What are you doing?” He replies, “F^&K you!”
I told him to move on and take his garbage with him. We are sick of cleaning your crap up! He is now angry because I am interrupting him from getting high. He drops his pants and craps, picks up a paper bag wipes himself and smears it on the fence. Do I call the police? No. Why...because they can do little. Even if they did.. he would be out before they did the paperwork.

So ...Mr. Mayor.....

Go to YOUTUBE and play all the videos of people breaking the law during those protests. Arrest the ones that destroyed property, prosecute them and after they get out of jail make them pay for the damage.

Get all of the folks that were involved in assaults and charge them with a Measure 11 crime. Guarantee others following will think twice.

Those folks that stop cars, prevent pedestrians not involved in the protesting to have free movement on the streets and sidewalks. Charge them with false imprisonment or in some cases even kidnapping. Protesting should never be limited ... only the behavior at one. 
Like the Star Wars adage Ted...... Use the force!


Last month there was an election for board members. 24 residents voted and they could not fill all the seats required. 

Last week they had a continuation of that election. 18 residents showed. That is a drop of 25%. In total we have had 42 voters to seat 8 folks ...or just over 5 residents per seat. 
Is that a Lents wave????. If 100 folks come to a meeting and there are only 11 residents.. you are a failure. You had a grand opportunity to start fresh and you blew it! The proof is in the numbers. 99.99 % of Lents residents can't be wrong. By the way; technically since I got 1 vote (even though I did not run) and another person got one vote but she was elected to another seat; I am the Treasurer. I hereby call for an audit and respectfully resign.


Many probably read the rant on a local Facebook page concerning new businesses coming to Lents. The bigoted comments it drew got a few replies.

I cannot speak for those businesses but I am sure they do not want to be connected to the hate speech and racist remarks concerning white males or any racial or gender discriminatory remarks. I believe that either business involved will gladly do business with all residents.

Obviously these are ignorant statements by those who have no idea what is involved in running a business. A successful business person cares less about gender, race, political affiliation, or religious belief.

This is nothing new here. Last year the Revolution Church put on an event at the park and there was a post about religion on that same page. I guess when they say diversity they mean..except for white males and religious organizations, or folks not in their political party...

From the Crotch - October 25, 2018


This was posted on Nextdoor. It will probably be removed as the content will no doubt upset the snowflakes. Below the post is my response

Tell me something good....

My husband and I just moved to the area, and we love our new house and the neighbors seem to be lovely. HOWEVER, and maybe I was super naive in moving here, but ever since getting on Nextdoor I have been shocked at the number of car and house break-ins (too close for comfort to our address!) in this area. Its daily and the fear is beginning to get to me. I'm anxious leaving for work wondering if I'll come home to a burglarized house (my one and only concern there is our dog getting loose and lost).

I knew this area had some crime, but this is something else. There seems to be (understandable!) frustration in the community.

I guess I would like reassurance that this neighborhood isn't all bad- I want to love it here. Please tell me good things about this neighborhood- I need some positivity! (Also: ideas on how I can get involved in making this neighborhood a safer place are welcome!).

-New Neighbors

Dear New Neighbors

Welcome to Lents. Sorry you had to find out the hard way. Had you went on the LNJ page or the LNLA page you would have probably given it a second thought before moving here.

I used to try and post the number of squatter houses, and the issues going on here on the I Love Lents page or the Neighborhood Assoc. page but was blocked from both long ago with countless others.

I have lived here over 20 years. It has never been perfect, but it was doable. No more. I often wondered if realtors were kicking something down to admins for making this place sound like a quiet little neighborhood.

The NA board and the I Love Lents page do not provide any factual information on conditions here.

Three years ago when things started going south we tried to get the NA involved. They denied the issues even existed. No different now. These groups receive money and rewards from the city so expect little truth in what they say.

Don't feel bad. I have a neighbor across from me that was told by the realtor he bought from that this area was going to be the next Hawthorne. That was almost 13 years ago....and if you check, that line was use for at least the last 2 decades.

If you live in one of the new construction buildings you were probably led to believe the same. Well, I am sorry.. they lied to you.

Lents has been on a steady downfall for the last 3 years. Crime, homelessness and drug use is everywhere, Some areas worse then others. I know of at least 14 different folks that were decent hardworking people that finally just gave up and left. Your post is not the first time I have read about folks feeling they were deceived ... just a little.

I live just off 83rd and Foster. If you noticed my post says “From the Crotch”.... that is not meant to be funny. It is a very real and honest description of that area.

You can go to either the Lents Neighborhood Livability page or the Lents Neighbors for Justice page and ask folks on there. You might not like what you hear…but it will be the truth.

I am sorry this happened to you and your family. You’re not the first and you will not be the last. My advice is however to go somewhere besides ILL or the NA page for what is going on.

My advice. Be very aware of your homes chances of being broken into. Be aware that they also steal pets in this area. Your vehicle and anything left outside at night. .If you have packages coming get a neighbor to hold them for you. 

Be careful of needles. They wind up in your yard, the parks and throughout the neighborhood. Feces and urine are also pretty common even in public places.

Had you asked on our pages….you may have at least had a better understanding of what it is really like...

Welcome to Lents!

NA Meeting

Does anyone have information on who was elected if anyone? No website, silly irrelevant posts on the Facebook page. Still censoring comments.. We are also waiting for the "New Bylaws" that we heard they were going to get passed quickly...Seems like now it is going to take awhile. In fact it was one of the reasons they used to rush the election. 

Geez, perhaps it is impossible for this neighborhood to get any board members to follow though with anything in a transparent and responsible way. This is what happens when you continue to have a board made up of city employees, or folks looking for a job or stipend from government.

Neighborhood Associations should be independent. Should not seat any employees and not be overseen by anyone but residents of the neighborhood.


We reached out to 3 schools in Lents. We got 10 names from Oliver P. Lents School and we had 3 already. We did not hear back from Kelly School so we offered the remaining 12 to Earl Boyles School and should have the remaining names soon.

Thanks to Char and David for all their work. To Penny who worked a couple of extra shifts at Shimmers 😎, Bob Field, Stuart Schmaltz, Brian Jeanseau, Mary Oxford, Carmelina Wills, Krista Dennis, Julie and Cliff Whitmore, Kathi Gibson, Michelle Matthews Crawford, Daryl Turner’s Office, East Precinct, Fred Meyer and everyone else at our meeting who gave generously to our cause. I apologize for forgetting people’s names. I can't remember everyone there are so many. You guys are going to make Thanksgiving a little better for 24 families.. You rock!

By the way... All of this was done by community members with NO proceeds coming from city, county, state or federal government...that is why it goes so smoothly!.

PS: By the way the author of this article is purchasing the 24 turkeys along with the dinner rolls. THANK YOU ROBERT SANTANGELO!

Portland Oregon or Portland Michigan??

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Today is was announced on the news that the city of Portland Michigan had to put out a PSA letting folks know that it was Portland Oregon and not their city that had allowed such horrible behavior during a protest.

We sympathize with they folks in Michigan as the LNLA group as we too sometimes find ourselves in that situation. Being confused with the other guys can be a real problems at times.

Anyone who watched that on the news should have been horrified by the way innocent bystanders and folks on their way to and from work were treated by protesters. Folks not involved in the protest were attacked and verbally assaulted.

They have this on video, so I cannot see any reason that the Mayor would not give PPD the okay to go and arrest those folks and charge them.

In other news the Mayor states that they are going to crack down on this behavior and forbid and limit groups involved in violence. The ACLU has already stated they will fight any ordinance by the Mayor to do so.

"Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right...Here I am stuck in the middle with you"

Stealer Wheel